英語(yǔ)精選幽默小故事
英語(yǔ)精選幽默小故事
“哪里有人,哪里就有笑聲。”從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的“調(diào)劑品”。笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)英語(yǔ)精選幽默小故事，歡迎大家閱讀!
英語(yǔ)精選幽默小故事：優(yōu)缺點(diǎn)
"This house," said the real-estate salesman, "has both its good points and bad points. To show you I'm honest, I'm goint to tell you about the disadvantage - there is a chemical plant one block south and a slaughterhouse one block north."
"What are the advantages?" inquired the prospective buyer.
"The good thing about it," said the agent, "is that you can always tell which way the wind is blowing."
“這幢房子，”房地產(chǎn)推銷(xiāo)商說(shuō)，“既有優(yōu)點(diǎn)也有缺點(diǎn)。為了說(shuō)明我是誠(chéng)實(shí)的，我將告訴你們它的缺點(diǎn)：往南面一個(gè)街區(qū)是一家化工廠，往北面一個(gè)街區(qū)是一家屠宰場(chǎng)。”
“那么它的長(zhǎng)處呢?”預(yù)備購(gòu)買(mǎi)房子的人問(wèn)道。
“它的好處，”代理商說(shuō)道，“就是，你總能分清風(fēng)是從哪邊吹過(guò)來(lái)的。”
英語(yǔ)精選幽默小故事：偉大的獵手
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jonesie, to come and kill the beast.
For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping(披蓋) the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion.
In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling(凝結(jié))shrieks(尖叫) coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion.
What happened, Jonesie? Where is the lion? asked the chief.
Forget the damn lion! he howled. Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?
有個(gè)小村莊正為一只吃人的獅子而煩惱。于是，村長(zhǎng)派人去請(qǐng)偉大的獵手Jonesie來(lái)殺死這只野獸。
獵手躺著等了幾個(gè)晚上，但獅子一直沒(méi)有出現(xiàn)。最后，他要求村長(zhǎng)殺只牛然后把頭皮給他。把牛皮披在身上后，獵人到草原上去等獅子。
半夜，村民被從草原傳來(lái)的聲嘶力竭的尖叫聲驚醒。他們小心地靠近后，看到獵手正躺在草地上痛苦地呻吟。沒(méi)有獅子出沒(méi)的蛛絲馬跡。
Jonesie，怎么了?獅子在哪?村長(zhǎng)問(wèn)。
哪有獅子!獵人怒吼道，哪個(gè)傻瓜把公牛放出來(lái)了?
英語(yǔ)精選幽默小故事：讓你兒子靜下來(lái)
In the supermarket was a man pushing a cart which contained a screaming, bellowing(吼叫) baby. The gentleman kept repeating softly, "Don't get excited, Albert; don't scream, Albert; don't yell, Albert; keep calm, Albert."
A woman standing next to him said, "You certainly are to be commended(稱(chēng)贊，表?yè)P(yáng)) for trying to soothe(安慰) your son, Albert."
The man looked at her and said, "Lady, I'm Albert."
一個(gè)人在超市里推著購(gòu)物車(chē)，一個(gè)小孩子在車(chē)?yán)锊煌５拇蟪炒蠼?。推?chē)的男人一直溫柔地念叨著：”別激動(dòng)，阿爾伯特，別嚷出來(lái)，阿爾伯特，別叫，阿爾伯特，冷靜，阿爾伯特。"
站在他旁邊的一位女士對(duì)他說(shuō)道：“您能這樣安慰您的兒子阿爾伯特真的讓我們感到很不容易。”
男人看著那位女士說(shuō)：“太太，我是阿爾伯特。
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