英語(yǔ)小笑話
冷笑話是一種新興的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,也是一種出現(xiàn)在我們身邊的不可忽視的新的語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象。小編精心收集了短的英語(yǔ)小笑話，供大家欣賞學(xué)習(xí)!
短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇1
The Perfect Solution
完美解決之道
President Shrub was flying over the U. S. with his staff.
史拉伯總統(tǒng)和他的幕僚正搭機(jī)橫越美國(guó)上空。
Suddenly he got a brilliant inspiration:
忽然間他心中突發(fā)奇想，
"You know, I think I'll just throw a fifty-dollar bill out the window and make somebody happy. "
“我想由窗口扔一張五十元美鈔下去，讓某個(gè)人高興一下。”
"Mr.President,why don't you throw out five ten-dollar bills and make five people happy?"
“總統(tǒng)先生，您為什么不丟五張十元的鈔票讓五個(gè)人高興呢?”
suggested his celebrated Secretary of State Vice President Partridge caught on.
著名的國(guó)務(wù)卿建議道。
“Golly,Mr.President, why don't you throw fifty singles and make fifty people happy?"
副總統(tǒng)派翠基接著說(shuō)：“啊，總統(tǒng)先生，您為什么不丟五十張一元鈔票，好讓五十個(gè)人高興呢?”
The pilot turned around and said, "Why don’t you just throw yourself out the window andmake everybody happy?"
這時(shí)飛機(jī)駕駛員轉(zhuǎn)身說(shuō)道：“為什么你不把自己丟出窗外，好讓每個(gè)人都高興呢?”
短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇2
Change of Plan
臨時(shí)改變主意
Frank and Fred had received their draft notices on the same day, and neither wanted to enterthe army.
法蘭克和佛烈德兩人同一天收到召集令，兩人都不想去服兵役。
But Frank had heard that the army would not accept anyone without teeth, so they both had alltheir teeth pulled.
但法蘭克曾經(jīng)聽(tīng)人說(shuō)軍中不收沒(méi)有牙齒的人，因此他們兩人都把所有的牙齒給拔掉了。
On the day of their medical exam, Frank and Fred got in line, but a huge, hairy, smelly truckdriver cut in between them.
在體格檢查那天，他們兩人排在同一排隊(duì)伍，可是有一個(gè)大塊頭、滿身毛發(fā)而且臭味難當(dāng)?shù)目ㄜ囁緳C(jī)插在他們中間。
As Frank got up to the head of the line, he announced to the inspecting sergeant that he hadno teeth.
當(dāng)法蘭克排到隊(duì)伍的前頭時(shí)，他對(duì)檢查的班長(zhǎng)說(shuō)他沒(méi)有牙齒，
The sergeant had Frank open his mouth, ran his forefinger over the raw gums and said,
那名士官要他張開(kāi)嘴巴，接著用食指在他紅腫的牙齦繞了一圈后說(shuō)道：
"Sure enough, you don’t. You’re rejected. "
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你沒(méi)牙齒，不用當(dāng)兵!”
Turning to the truck driver, he asked, 'What's your problem?"
接著輪到卡車司機(jī)，士官說(shuō)：“你有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”
The trucker said, "I've got a tremendous case of the piles."
卡車司機(jī)說(shuō)道：“我患有嚴(yán)重的痔瘡。”
The sergeant had the fellow bend over, inserted his fore finger and rotated it aroundthoroughly,
班長(zhǎng)要那個(gè)家伙彎下身去，用他的食指在肛門(mén)轉(zhuǎn)了一整圈后說(shuō)道：
"Sure enough, you've got a bad case. Rejected!"
“沒(méi)錯(cuò)，你的情形很嚴(yán)重，不合格!”
Turning to Fred, the sergeant demanded, "And what's your problem?"
再輪到佛烈德時(shí)，班長(zhǎng)又問(wèn)：“那你的問(wèn)題是什么?”
Staring at the forefinger, Fred replied, "Nothing at all, sergeant, nothing at all. "
凝視著他的食指，佛烈德答道：“沒(méi)什么問(wèn)題，班長(zhǎng)，我一點(diǎn)問(wèn)題也沒(méi)有。”
短的英語(yǔ)小笑話篇3
And Stuff the Cuffs in Your Boots
把褲腳塞到你的靴子里面去
The untried general faced battle the next day, and was more than a little frightened.
一位未曾有過(guò)作戰(zhàn)經(jīng)驗(yàn)的將軍非?；炭?，因?yàn)榈诙鞂⒂袀€(gè)戰(zhàn)役要面對(duì)。
Seeking inspiration, he looked into the history of great commanders and learned thatWellington had always dressed in red for battle,
為了尋找靈感，他翻查了歷年來(lái)偉大將領(lǐng)的檔案，發(fā)現(xiàn)威靈頓將軍每次戰(zhàn)斗中都身穿紅色衣服，
so that his men would not realize if he were shot.
萬(wàn)一他被射傷的話，他的士兵也不會(huì)發(fā)現(xiàn)。
Instantly he called in his adjutant and ordered a pair of trousers in a rich, dark brown.
于是他傳了副官進(jìn)來(lái)并指示手下做了一條深褐色的褲子。
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