爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話
笑話是近年來(lái)語(yǔ)言學(xué)研究比較盛行的話題,其研究方法主要側(cè)重于語(yǔ)用學(xué)研究,但幽默的產(chǎn)生機(jī)制和復(fù)雜性決定了幽默研究需要多種語(yǔ)言學(xué)理論的交叉與合作。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話，歡迎閱讀!
爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話篇一
Job interview with FBI
3 men were at the FBI Building for a jobinterview.
有3個(gè)人正去參加美國(guó)聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局總部的工作面試。
The first man walked into the office. The interviewingFBI agent said “to be in the FBI you must be loyal, devoted, and give us yourall. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot herwith this gun.” The man took the gun, hesitated, and said “sorry, I can’t doit.”
第一個(gè)人走進(jìn)了聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局大樓。聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局的面試官員：“要做一個(gè)聯(lián)邦調(diào)查員，你應(yīng)該做到忠誠(chéng)，專心，并把你的一切都奉獻(xiàn)出來(lái)。你的妻子就在隔壁期間，我想讓你去用這把槍打死她。”那個(gè)男子拿起槍，開(kāi)始猶豫，說(shuō)道：“對(duì)不起，我不能夠這樣做。”
The next interviewee came into the office. Theagent said “to be in the FBI you must be loyal, devoted, and give us your all. Yourwife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with thisgun.” The man took the gun, walked into the room, then walk out. “Sorry, I can’tdo it.” He said.
第二個(gè)人走進(jìn)了聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局大樓。聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局的面試官員：“要做一個(gè)聯(lián)邦調(diào)查員，你應(yīng)該做到忠誠(chéng)，專心，并把你的一切都奉獻(xiàn)出來(lái)。你的妻子就在隔壁期間，我想讓你去用這把槍打死她。”那個(gè)男子拿起槍，走進(jìn)房間，接著又退了出來(lái)。他說(shuō)：“抱歉，我不能夠這樣做。”
The last man came into the office. Theinterviewer said “to be in the FBI you must be in loyal, devoted, and give usyour all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoother with this gun.” The man took the gun and went into the room. The agentheard 6 shots, silence, and then a lot of screaming.
第二個(gè)人走進(jìn)了聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局大樓。聯(lián)邦調(diào)查局的面試官員：“要做一個(gè)聯(lián)邦調(diào)查員，你應(yīng)該做到忠誠(chéng)，專心，并把你的一切都奉獻(xiàn)出來(lái)。你的妻子就在隔壁期間，我想讓你去用這把槍打死她。”他拿起了槍走進(jìn)了房間。代理聽(tīng)到了6聲槍響，一陣安靜，接著聽(tīng)到了一陣尖叫。
The man came out of the room and said “someoneloaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing.”
那個(gè)人走出房間說(shuō)道：“有人裝著空子彈，所以我用窗簾桿子把她打死了!”
爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話篇二
Teacher: whoever answers my next question, can go home.
老師：誰(shuí)能回到我下一個(gè)問(wèn)題，誰(shuí)就可以回家了。
One boy throws his bag out the window.
一個(gè)小男孩把書(shū)包扔到窗外。
Teacher: who just threw that?!
老師：誰(shuí)剛剛把書(shū)包扔出去了?
Boy: Me! I’m going home now.
男孩：我!我現(xiàn)在要回家了。
爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話篇三
Teacher: Cassandra, if I saw a man beating a donkey and I stopped him, what virtue would I be demonstrating?
Cassandra: Brotherly love?
老師：Cassandra，如果我看見(jiàn)有人在毆打一頭驢，我制止了他，我顯示出了什么美德?
Cassabdra：兄弟般的關(guān)愛(ài)?
爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話篇四
One day a lady saw a mouse running across her kitchen floor. She was very afraid of mouse, so she ran out of the house, got into a bus and went to the shops. There she bought a mousetrap. The shopkeeper said to her, "Put some cheese in it and you will soon catch that mouse."
有一天某位女士看到一只老鼠在自家的廚房地板上竄過(guò)。她很害怕老鼠，所以她沖出屋子，搭上了公共汽車直奔商店。在那兒，她買(mǎi)了一只老鼠夾。店主告訴她："放點(diǎn)奶酪在里面，很快你就會(huì)逮住那只老鼠的。"
The lady went home with her mousetrap, but when she looked in her cupboard, she could not find any cheese in it. She did not want to go back to the shop, because it was very late, so she cut a picture of some cheese out of a magazine and put that in the trap.
這位女士帶著鼠夾回到家里，但她沒(méi)有在碗櫥里找到奶酪。她不想再回到商店里去，因?yàn)橐呀?jīng)很晚了。于是，她就從一份雜志中剪下一幅奶酪的圖片放進(jìn)了夾子。
Surprisingly, the picture of the cheese was quite successful! When the lady came down to the kitchen the next morning she found a picture of a mouse in the trap beside the picture of the cheese!
令人稱奇的是，這畫(huà)有奶酪的圖片竟然奏效了!第二天早上，這位女士下樓到廚房時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)鼠夾里奶酪圖片旁有一張畫(huà)有老鼠的圖片
爆笑的經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)小笑話篇五
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she says.
"What's your secret for a long, happy life?"
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods and never, ever exercise."
"Wow, that's amazing," says the woman. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-six."
長(zhǎng)壽秘訣
一位女士走向坐在門(mén)廊的椅子上搖動(dòng)的小老頭。
“我無(wú)意中發(fā)現(xiàn)，你是多么幸福，”那女士說(shuō)。“你幸福而長(zhǎng)壽的秘密是什么?”
“我每天抽三包煙，每周喝一箱威士忌，吃高脂肪食品，而且從來(lái)不曾鍛煉。”
“哦，真神奇，”女士說(shuō)。“你高壽?”
“二十六。”
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