簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選
笑話使人們?cè)诳贪宓纳钪懈械揭唤z快意和放松，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調(diào)劑作用。下面學(xué)習(xí)啦小編為大家?guī)?lái)簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選，歡迎大家閱讀!
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選1：
Jerry went to a psychiatrist. "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time I get into bed, I think there's somebody under it. I'm going crazy!"
Jerry去看精神病醫(yī)生。“醫(yī)生，我有些不對(duì)勁。每次我上床睡覺(jué)的時(shí)候，我就覺(jué)得有人在我床底下。我都快瘋了!”
"Just put yourself in my hands for one year," said the shrink. "Come to me three times a week, and I'll cure your fears."
“給我一年時(shí)間，”醫(yī)生說(shuō)，“每周來(lái)三次，我會(huì)治好你。”
"How much do you charge?"
“怎么收費(fèi)呢?”
"A hundred dollars per visit."
“一次100美元。”
"I'll sleep on it," said Jerry.
“我會(huì)認(rèn)真考慮的。”，Jerry 答道。
Six months later the doctor met Jerry on the street. "Why didn't you ever come to see me again?" asked the psychiatrist.
六個(gè)月以后，醫(yī)生在大街上碰到Jerry。“你怎么沒(méi)有再來(lái)呢?”精神病醫(yī)生問(wèn)道。
"For a hundred bucks a visit? The bartender cured me for ."
“一次一百塊錢嗎?有個(gè)酒吧服務(wù)生收了十塊錢就把我治好了。”
"Is that so! How?"
“真的?他怎么做到的?”
"He told me to cut the legs off the bed! Ain't nobody under there now!!!"
“他要我把床腳砍了!這樣不就沒(méi)有人在床下了嗎?”
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選2：
Wife: Dear, you looked quite drunk last night and you kept repeating the same thing at the table.
妻子：親愛(ài)的，你昨天晚上好像喝得很醉，在餐桌旁你不停地講同一句話。
Husband: Really? Then don't believe anything said by a drunken person. By the way, what did I say to you?
丈夫：真的嗎?不要相信醉漢所說(shuō)的任何事情。順便問(wèn)下，我說(shuō)什么了啊?
Wife: I love you, dear.
妻子：我愛(ài)你，親愛(ài)的。
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選3：
On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed.
在一輛擁擠的公交車上，一名男子注意到另一名男子閉上了眼睛。
"What's the matter? Are you sick?"
“怎么了?你不舒服?”
"No, I'm okay. It's just that I hate to see an old lady standing."
“不，我很好。只是我討厭看到有個(gè)老婦站在身旁。”
簡(jiǎn)單幽默英語(yǔ)笑話精選4：
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"
一名男子在健身房問(wèn)他的教練：“我想給那個(gè)漂亮女孩留下深刻的印象，該使用什么機(jī)器?”
The trainer replied: "Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"
教練答道：“用健身房外的取款機(jī)!!!”
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