趣味英語(yǔ)笑話三則閱讀

　　下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編整理的三則經(jīng)典趣味英語(yǔ)笑話，希望大家喜歡!

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：農(nóng)場(chǎng)趣談

　　The farmer was painting the inside of hisouthouse

　　一位農(nóng)夫正在漆他茅房?jī)?nèi)的墻壁，

　　when he slipped on the seat and fell into the holebeneath.

　　一不小心由所坐的椅子上滑了一跤，跌落到下面的茅坑內(nèi)。

　　"Fire! Fire! Fire!" he yelled.

　　“失火了!失火了!失火了!”他叫道。

　　Shortly, the fire department arrived and one of the firemen leaned down and asked the farmer,

　　不久消防隊(duì)趕來(lái)了，一位消防人員彎下身來(lái)問(wèn)

　　"Where's the fire?"

　　“哪里失火了呢?”

　　"There ain't no fire," said the farmer,

　　“事實(shí)上并未失火，”農(nóng)夫說(shuō)，“但若是我喊“大便喔!大便喔!”

　　"but would you have come if I'd yelled,

　　"你們會(huì)趕來(lái)嗎?"

　　" Shit! Shit! Shit ! ? "'

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：你的東西放在哪兒了

　　The famous, but rather aged, doctor was making his rounds, followed by a young intern. Suddenlythe intern noticed something peculiar.

　　一位上了年紀(jì)的著名醫(yī)生正在各病房做例行巡視，一位年輕的實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生跟著他，突然那名實(shí)習(xí)醫(yī)生注意到一件怪事。

　　"Say, doctor, are you aware that you have asuppository behind your ear?"

　　“醫(yī)師先生，您有沒(méi)發(fā)現(xiàn)您耳朵放了一支栓劑呢?"

　　"Oh, shit!" exclaimed the eminent practitioner. "Do you know what this means?"

　　“喔!真是糟糕!”那位名醫(yī)說(shuō)道，“你知道那表示什么嗎?”

　　"What?"

　　“什么呢?”

　　"Some asshole has got my pen!"

　　“我把我的鋼筆塞到某一位病人的屁股里面去了!”

　　經(jīng)典英語(yǔ)笑話：一位心滿意足的客戶

　　A rough looking fellow strolled into the bank and walked up to the teller.

　　有一位相貌粗魯?shù)募一镒哌M(jìn)銀行對(duì)柜臺(tái)職員說(shuō):

　　"I wanna open a god-damned checking account. "

　　“我想開(kāi)個(gè)你他媽的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"CertainLy, sir," replied the young lady, “but there's no need to use that kind of language."

　　“當(dāng)然可以啦，先生，”年輕的小姐回答說(shuō)，“但沒(méi)有必要使用那種字眼。”

　　"Hey, get your ass in gear, will ya? I’m in a hurry. ',

　　“嘿，你他媽的能不能快一點(diǎn)嗎?我在趕時(shí)間呢!”

　　"Sir, I’m not used to being spoken to in that way. "

　　“先生，我不習(xí)慣別人那樣子對(duì)我說(shuō)話。”

　　"I wanna open a fucking checking account, and I want to do it now, understand?"

　　“我要開(kāi)一個(gè)x××的活期存款賬戶，而且要現(xiàn)在就辦，懂了嗎?”

　　"Sir, I'm going to get the manager," said the indignant young lady.

　　“先生，我去找經(jīng)理來(lái)。”氣憤的年輕小姐說(shuō)著。

　　Soon she returned with the manager, a dignified white haired gentleman, who asked, "What seems to be the trouble, sir?"

　　不久她帶了經(jīng)理回來(lái)，那位滿頭白發(fā)、看起來(lái)很莊嚴(yán)的老先生問(wèn)道：“先生，到底有什么問(wèn)題嗎? ’

　　“I just won ,000,000 in the lottery, and I want to open a goddamn checking account. "

　　“我剛中彩券得了一千萬(wàn)美元，我想開(kāi)個(gè)你他媽的活期存款賬戶。”

　　"I see," said the manager warmly. "And this bitch is giving you trouble?"

　　“我知道了，”經(jīng)理說(shuō)道，“而這個(gè)臭婊子在給您添麻煩，是吧?