關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞
關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話欣賞
冷笑話是近幾年新興的一種語(yǔ)言現(xiàn)象,它輕松詼諧、別具一格,給我們緊張的生活增添了幾分輕松的情趣,它一出現(xiàn)便受到了大多數(shù)人的喜愛(ài)。本文是關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望對(duì)大家有幫助!
關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話：Better Prison Foods
San Francisco (UPI)--In what legal observers are already calling a landmark decision in the case of Jackson v. California, the California Supreme Court has recognized for the first time a constitutional right to chicken done right.
The high court held that under the the due process clause and the constitutional prohibitionof cruel and unusual punishment, Joseph Jackson, a prisoner at the California Men's Correctional Institue at Camarillo, is entitled to food "of fair average quality," or "comparable to the fare at a modest restaurant or fast-food chain."
Mr. Jackson had complained of the poor quality of the prison kitchen's Coq au Vin ....
關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話：The Cab Driver
A woman and her son were taking a cab in New York City. It was raining and all the hookers werestanding under the awnings. "Mommy," said the little boy, "what are all those ladies doing?" "They're waiting for their husbands to get off of work," she replied. The cabbie turns around and says, "Geez lady, why don't you tell him the truth? Their hookers. They have sex with men for money." The little boy's eyes get wide and he says, "Is that true, mommy?" His mother, glaring at the cabbie, answers in the affirmative. After a few minutes, the kid asks, "Mommy what happens to the babies those ladies have?" "They mostly become cab drivers," she replied.
關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話：Watching For Suicide
Why do they put a suicide watch on death row prisoners? Why would you care if a man you're planning to kill anyway, kills himself? Does it spoil the fun?
I also think about the death row prisoner in Texas who, on the day before his execution, managed to take a drug overdose. They rushed him to a hospital, saved his life, then brought him back to prison and killed him.
Apparently, just to anger him.
關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話：Bad Cook
You Know You Are a Bad Cook When...
You use the smoke alarm as a cooking timer.
You consider it a culinary success if the pop-tart stays in one piece.
Your dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
Your family buys Alka Seltzer and Kaopectate in bulk.
When you barbecue, two of your kids hold water guns and the third stands ready by the phone with 911 on speed-dial.
Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear a fire truck siren.
The EPA insists that all your garbage cans be marked with biohazard symbols.
Your microwave display reads "TILT!"
Your two best recipes are meatloaf and apple pie, but your dinner guests can't tell which is which.
Your pie filling bubbles over and eats the enamel off the bottom of the oven.
You've used three boxes of scouring pads and a bottle of Drano and a crowbar, and that macaroni and cheese still won't let go of the pan.
Pest control companies keep pestering you for your recipes.
You make tuna noodle surprise and the surprise is that it glows in the dark and melts the silverware.
Your family prays AFTER they eat!
關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話：Drinks All Round
This guy staggers into a bar and shouts, "A double whisky please barman, and a drink for everyone here, and while you're at it, have one yourself."
"Well thank you sir," says the barman and proceeds to pour everyone their drinks.
Moments later the guy shouts, "Another whisky for me, and the same again for everyone else."
The bartender looks a little worried now and says, "Excuse me sir, but don't you think you should pay me for that last round first?"
The guy slurs, "I can't. I don't have any money."
With this the bartender flies into a rage and literally throws the guy out of the bar. About twenty minutes later though the guy staggers back in and shouts out, "A double whisky for me, and a drink for all my friends."
"I suppose you'll be offering me a drink too?" the barman asks, marvelling at the guy's nerve.
"Not likely," slurs the guy, "you get nasty when you've had a drink!"
看了“關(guān)于有趣的英語(yǔ)笑話”的人還看了：