演講用的英語(yǔ)笑話大全
笑話,不同文化背景的人的反應(yīng)有時(shí)是不同的,甚至?xí)厝幌喾?。究其原?是說(shuō)話雙方?jīng)]有真正理解對(duì)方的文化。笑話是各國(guó)文化的精髓,反映各國(guó)的風(fēng)俗習(xí)慣。學(xué)習(xí)啦小編分享演講用的英語(yǔ)笑話，希望可以幫助大家!
演講用的英語(yǔ)笑話：What's your religion?
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said "Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Like what?"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Religious."
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Christian."
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Protestant."
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Baptist."
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
演講用的英語(yǔ)笑話：Bloopers of children
Some bloopers of biblical proportions written by Sunday School students of both the Christian and Jewishpersuasion:
In the first book of the bible, Guinessis, God got tired of creating the world, so he took the Sabbath off.
Adam & Eve were created from an apple tree.
Noah's wife was called Joan of Ark.
Noah built the ark, which the animals came on in pears.
Lot's wife was a pillar of salt by day, but a ball of fire by night.
The Jews were a proud people and throughout history they had trouble with unsympathetic Genitals.
Sampson was a strongman who let himself be led astray by a jezebel like Delilah.
Sampson slated the Philistines with the axe of apostles.
Moses led the Hebrews to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread, which is bread made without any ingredients.
The Egyptians were all drowned in the dessert.
Afterward, Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the Ten Amendments.
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The Fifth Commandment is humor thy mother and father.
The Seventh Commandment is thou shalt not admit adultery.
Moses died before he ever reached the UK. Then, Joshua led the Hebrews in the Battle of Geritol.
The greatest miracle in the Bible is when Joshua told his son to stand still and he obeyed him.
David was a Hebrew king skilled at playing the liar. He fought with the Finkelsteins, a race of people who lived in the biblical times.
Solomon, one of David's sons, has 300 wives and 700 porcupines.
When Mary heard that she was the Mother of Jesus, she sang the Magna Carta.
When the three wise guys from the East Side arrived, they found Jesus and the manager.
Jesus was born because Mary had an emaculate contraption.
St. John, the Blacksmith, dumped water on his head.
Jesus enunciated the Golden Rule, which says to do one to others before they do one to you.
He also explained, "Man doth not live by sweat alone."
The people who followed the Lord were called the 12 decibels.
The epistles were the wives of the apostles.
One of the opossums was St. Matthew, who was by profession a taximan.
St. Paul cavorted to Christianity. He preached holy acrimony, which is another name for marriage.
A Christian should have only one wife. This is called monotony.
演講用的英語(yǔ)笑話：A sermon about lying
A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17." The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands. He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."
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