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1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話演講

時(shí)間: 韋彥867 分享

  笑話是指幽默的話語(yǔ)。從結(jié)構(gòu)上看 ,一則話語(yǔ)只要具有能產(chǎn)生幽默效果的關(guān)鍵語(yǔ)句即成笑話 ;笑話中人物對(duì)“合作原則”四準(zhǔn)則有意無(wú)意的違反常常產(chǎn)生幽默。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話,歡迎閱讀!

  1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇一

  讓人崩潰的駕駛

  A guy was driving when a policeman pulled him over. He rolled down his window and said to the officer, "Is there a problem, Officer?""No problem at all. I just observed your safe driving and am pleased to award you a ,000 Safe Driver Award. Congratulations. What do you think you're going to do with the money?"He thought for a minute and said, "Well, I guess I'll go get that drivers' license."The lady sitting in the passenger seat said to the policeman, "Oh, don't pay attention to him - he's a smartass when he's drunk and stoned(醉酒的) ."The guy from the back seat said, "I TOLD you guys we wouldn't get far in a stolen car!"At that moment, there was a knock from the trunk(行李箱) and a muffled(聽(tīng)不清的) voice said, "Are we over the border yet?"

  一個(gè)家伙開(kāi)車(chē)的時(shí)候警察追了上來(lái)。這個(gè)家伙要開(kāi)窗戶問(wèn)警察:“怎么了,警官?”

  “沒(méi)事,我觀察到了你的安全駕駛技術(shù),很高興你獲得了價(jià)值5000美元的安全駕駛獎(jiǎng)。祝賀你!你認(rèn)為你要拿這筆錢(qián)去做什么?”

  他想了一會(huì)說(shuō)“哦,我覺(jué)得,我應(yīng)該去考駕照”。

  坐在副駕駛位的女士說(shuō)"別在意他說(shuō)的,他喝醉了酒說(shuō)胡話呢.“

  后面座位的家伙說(shuō)”我告訴你,偷來(lái)的車(chē)我們走不遠(yuǎn)的。“

  此時(shí),行李箱出現(xiàn)了敲擊聲并傳出一個(gè)模糊不清的聲音:“我們穿過(guò)了邊境了嗎?”

  1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇二

  Wedding or Not

  Uncle Frank, at 79, was a healthy and wealthy man, a lifelong bachelor. He courted a lot, he said, but "never boiled over-just simmered." On a whim, he decided to take a trip around the country to look up nearly a dozen old girlfriends.

  Upon his return he exclaimed, "Whew! Thank goodness I never married any of those women - They're all widows now!

  弗蘭克叔叔七十八歲了,富有而健康。他是個(gè)終生單身漢。他曾追求過(guò)很多女孩,但“從不過(guò)熱----見(jiàn)好就收”。一天他突發(fā)奇想,決定四處走走,去看看他那些接近一打的舊時(shí)女友。

  他回來(lái)即嘆道:“噓!謝天謝地幸虧我沒(méi)娶那些女人中的任何一個(gè)。如今她們都成寡婦了!”

  1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇三

  A Boy with a Big Head大頭娃娃

  A boy cried to his mother, "All the children make fun of me. They say I have a big head."

  "Don't listen to them," his mother said, "You have a beautiful head. Now stop crying and go to the store to buy twenty pounds of patotoes."

  "Where is the shopping bag?"

  "I haven't got one-use your hat."

  一個(gè)小男孩向他母親哭訴道:“他們都取笑我,說(shuō)我腦袋大。” “別聽(tīng)他們的,”他母親安慰道,“你有一個(gè)很漂亮的腦袋。好啦,別哭了,去商店買(mǎi)十斤土豆來(lái)。”

  “購(gòu)物袋在哪兒?”

  “沒(méi)購(gòu)物袋了----就用你的帽子吧。”

  1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇四

  A Small Surprise 小小的意外

  When his wife was expecting their third child, a father decided to tell his two sons, ages seven and nine, the facts of life. He checked out several books from the library on how parents should approach the subject. After stumbling through an explanation, he took a deep breath, and said, "Now, boys, do you have any questions?"

  "Yes," the younger boy answered immediately.

  "Go ahead," said the man, his heart in his throat.

  "Can we," his son asked, "have new baseball gloves?"

  當(dāng)妻子要生第三胎時(shí),父親決定給分別已七歲和九歲的兩個(gè)兒子講關(guān)于性的知識(shí)。他從圖書(shū)館查出幾本書(shū),都是關(guān)于父母如何涉及這個(gè)話題的。在結(jié)結(jié)巴巴地解釋一番后,他長(zhǎng)出了一口氣,然后說(shuō):“好了,孩子們,有什么問(wèn)題嗎?”

  “有,”小兒子立即回答。 “問(wèn)吧,”爸爸說(shuō),心提到了嗓子眼兒。

  “我們,”兒子問(wèn)道,“可以得到新棒球手套了嗎?”

  1分鐘好笑的英語(yǔ)笑話篇五

  All Right 沒(méi)關(guān)系

  Hurrying my 11-year old daughter to school, I made a right turn at a red light when it was prohibited. Uh-oh, I said, realizing my mistake. I just make an illegal turn.I guess it's all right, my daughter replied, The police car behind us did the same thing.

  我趕著開(kāi)車(chē)將11歲的女兒送到學(xué)校去,在紅燈處右拐了,而那是不允許的(譯注:在一些國(guó)家如英國(guó),其交通規(guī)則是車(chē)輛左行的,與我國(guó)相反)。啊噢,意識(shí)到犯了錯(cuò)誤,我說(shuō)。我剛才拐彎是違章的。我想那沒(méi)關(guān)系的,女兒回答說(shuō):我們后面的警車(chē)也同樣拐了彎。

  
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