英語(yǔ)笑話閱讀
笑話一般比較短小,喜劇性很強(qiáng),普遍存在于人們的日常生活中。笑話的娛樂(lè)作用可以減輕人的心理壓力,促進(jìn)身體健康。下面是學(xué)習(xí)啦小編帶來(lái)的爆笑英文笑話閱讀，歡迎閱讀!
爆笑英文笑話閱讀篇一
Gardening Glove
For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold. On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions. I held my hands up and said, "Well, you'll notice that my hands are bare."
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as Iunwrapped(打開(kāi)) a new pair of gardening glove.
園藝手套
幾個(gè)月以來(lái)，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結(jié)婚戒指，因?yàn)槲覍?duì)黃金有點(diǎn)過(guò)敏。生日那天，我正在干園藝活時(shí)，丈夫問(wèn)我想要什么禮物，我舉起雙手說(shuō)：“嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。”
那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開(kāi)了丈夫送的禮物，“生日快樂(lè)!”他說(shuō)。我打開(kāi)一看：里面包著一雙園藝手套。
爆笑英文笑話閱讀篇二
Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into theden(私室，賊窩) . What is the big brass gong(鑼) and hammer for? one of his friends asked. That is the talking clock, the man replied. How's it work?
Watch, the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!
會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘
一個(gè)學(xué)生帶他朋友們參觀他的新公寓，甚是得意。那個(gè)大銅鑼和錘子是干什么用的?他的一個(gè)朋友問(wèn)他。那玩意兒厲害了，那是一個(gè)會(huì)說(shuō)話的鐘，學(xué)生回答。這鐘怎么工作的，他的朋友問(wèn)?？粗瑒e眨眼了，那學(xué)生走上前一把操起銅鑼和錘子，拼命地敲了一下，聲音震耳欲聾。突然，他們聽(tīng)到隔壁墻那邊有人狂叫，別敲了，你這白癡!現(xiàn)在是凌晨?jī)牲c(diǎn)鐘了!
爆笑英文笑話閱讀篇三
Your Coat Is on Fire
The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count fifty before saying anything important, and one hundred if it was very important.
The next day he was speaking, standing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving rapidly. Suddenly the whole class shouted: Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a hundred. Your coat is on fire, sir!
您的大衣著火了
老師為了讓學(xué)生記住先思考后發(fā)言，告訴他們?cè)谡f(shuō)出重要事情之前先數(shù)到50，如果是特別重要的事情，要先數(shù)到100。 第二天，當(dāng)老師背靠著火爐講課時(shí)，發(fā)現(xiàn)好幾個(gè)學(xué)生的嘴唇在很快地不停地動(dòng)。突然，全班學(xué)生一起喊道：“九十八，九十九，一百。老師，您的大衣著火了!”
爆笑英文笑話閱讀篇四
Guns Buried in the Garden
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted to plant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up the garden.
He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig up that garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden, but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
埋在花園里的槍
一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛(ài)爾蘭，他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰(shuí)可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說(shuō)道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬(wàn)不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”
第二天凌晨4點(diǎn)，一隊(duì)英國(guó)士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒(méi)有找到任何槍支。”
老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問(wèn)到底發(fā)生了什么事情，下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。
兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”
爆笑英文笑話閱讀篇五
Real Play
When I taught the introduction-to-theater course at North Dakota State University, I required my students to attend the university theater's current production and write a critique. After viewing a particularly fine performance, one student wrote: The play was so real, I thought I was actually sitting on my couch at home, watching it on television.
逼真的戲劇
我在北達(dá)科他州立大學(xué)教戲劇入門課時(shí)，要求學(xué)生們?nèi)タ磳W(xué)校劇團(tuán)當(dāng)時(shí)的演出，并寫一篇評(píng)論?？戳艘粓?chǎng)極為精彩的演出后，一名學(xué)生寫道：“這部戲劇是如此逼真，以致于我認(rèn)為我自己是坐在家里的沙發(fā)上，從電視上看到的。”
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