經(jīng)典英語幽默笑話小故事
經(jīng)典英語幽默笑話小故事
冷笑話不同于一般的笑話，以其獨(dú)特的制笑機(jī)制，能瞬間制造出一種特殊氛圍。下面小編整理了英語幽默笑話小故事，希望大家喜歡!
英語幽默笑話小故事摘抄
Which month to go?幾月走的
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
杰克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點(diǎn)頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。于是便有好心的人教他說，下次鞠躬的時(shí)候，你就在心里數(shù)：正月、二月、……一直數(shù)到十二月為止，然后再直起身來。這樣，禮節(jié)就周全了。
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, Which month did he go away?
第二天，杰克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮制。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。杰克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：我叔叔幾月走的?
英語幽默笑話小故事鑒賞
Reason of Punishment
One day a little girl came home from school, and said to her mother, Mommy, today in school Iwas punished for something that I didn't do.
The mother exclaimed, But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this!By the way, what was it that you didn't do?
The little girl replied, My homework.
懲罰的原因
一天，小女孩從學(xué)?；氐郊依铮瑢?duì)媽媽說：媽媽，今天在學(xué)校里我因?yàn)橐患覜]有做的事情而受到懲罰。
媽媽激動(dòng)地說：那真是太可怕了!我要跟你的老師好好談一談，對(duì)了，你沒有做過的那件事是什么?
小女孩回答說：我的家庭作業(yè)。
英語幽默笑話小故事賞析
埋在花園里的槍 Guns Buried in the Garden
An old man lived alone in Northern Ireland. His only son was in prison. The old man wanted toplant some potatoes in his garden but he didn't know anyone who would help him plow up thegarden. He wrote to his son about it, and received this reply, For HEAVENS SAKE, don't dig upthat garden, that's where I buried the GUNS!
一個(gè)老人獨(dú)居在北愛爾蘭，他的獨(dú)生子正在坐牢。老人想在花園里種些土豆，但不知道誰可以幫忙把泥土翻松。他寫信想兒子提及此事，兒子回信說道：“看在上帝的面上，千萬不要翻松花園的泥土，我把槍埋在那兒了。”
At 4 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers showed up and dug up the entire garden,but didn't find any guns.
第二天凌晨4點(diǎn)，一隊(duì)英國士兵出現(xiàn)在老人家中，在花園把土地翻遍，但并沒有找到任何槍支。”
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him what happened and asking him what to do next.
老人寫信告訴兒子這件奇怪的事情，問到底發(fā)生了什么事情，下一步應(yīng)該怎么做。
His son's reply was: Just plant your potatoes.
兒子回信道：“你只管種土豆好了。”
英語幽默笑話小故事欣賞
臨死者最愛吃的小甜餅 Favorite Cookies
An elderly man lay dying in his bed. In death's agony, he suddenly smelled the aroma ofhis favorite chocolate chip cookies wafting up the stairs. He gathered his remaining strength,and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of thebedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing withboth hands. With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen.
一位瀕臨死亡的老人正躺在他的床上，承受著死亡的煎熬。突然一股香味順著樓下飄了上來，那正是他最喜歡的巧克力小薄餅的味道。他用盡吃奶的力氣掙扎著從床上爬了起來，倚著墻，慢慢地走出了臥室，并且用最后的力量用雙手抓住扶手走下了樓梯。老人靠在門框上，嘴里喘著氣，眼睛凝神著廚房。
Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven: there, spreadout upon newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chipcookies. Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing toit that he left this world a happy man?
如果不是因?yàn)槌惺苤R死的痛苦，老人會(huì)認(rèn)為自己到了天堂。那里，在廚房鋪著報(bào)紙的桌子上，確切地說有數(shù)百個(gè)他最喜歡吃的巧克力小薄餅。真在天堂嗎?還是他那離婚妻子的最后一次英雄般的愛心顯示，以便讓他開心地離開這個(gè)世界?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table, landing on his knees in arumpled posture. His parched lips parted; the wondrous taste of the cookie was already in hismouth; seemingly bringing him back to life. The aged and withered hand, shockingly made itsway to a cookie at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly smacked with a spatula by hiswife.
集中最后的力量，老人跪著雙膝掙扎著移向桌子。他口干舌燥，嘴巴張開。他感受到了美妙的甜餅味道，仿佛要將他帶回人世。他的一只年邁干癟的手顫顫悠悠地伸向桌子邊緣的一只小甜餅。突然，他妻子扔過一把鏟子，砸在他的手上。
Stay out of those, she said, they're for the funeral.
“離遠(yuǎn)點(diǎn)”，他妻子說。“這是為你的葬禮準(zhǔn)備的。”