簡單易懂好笑的英語笑話
簡單易懂好笑的英語笑話
《萬榮72爭笑話》是一部方言性質(zhì)極強(qiáng),幽默意味十足的笑話集，下面小編整理了簡單易懂的英語笑話，希望大家喜歡!
簡單易懂的英語笑話摘抄
實(shí)質(zhì)性的糾正
Teacher: Walter, why don't you wash your face? I can see what you had for breakfast thismorning.
Walter: What was it?
Teacher: Eggs.
Walter: Wrong. That was yesterday.
老 師：沃爾特，你為什么不洗臉?我看得出你今天早飯吃了什么。
沃爾特：我吃了什么?
老 師：雞蛋。
沃爾特：錯了，老師。那是昨天吃的。
簡單易懂的英語笑話鑒賞
當(dāng)場擒獲小偷
A shoplifter was caught red-handed trying to steal a watch from a jewelry store. "Listen,"said the shoplifter, "I know you don't want any trouble either. What do you say I just buy thewatch, and we forget about this?"
The manager agreed and wrote up the sales slip. The crook looked at the slip and said, "This isa little more than I intended to spend.Can you show me something less expensive?"
一個小偷在一家珠寶店企圖偷走一只手表的時候被當(dāng)場擒獲。“聽著，”小偷說，“我知道你們也不想惹麻煩。我把這只表買下，然后我們就當(dāng)什么也沒發(fā)生，你看怎樣?”
經(jīng)理表示同意，然后列了一張售貨單。小偷看著單子說道：“這比我最初的預(yù)算稍稍高了一點(diǎn)。你們還有沒有便宜一點(diǎn)兒東西。"
簡單易懂的英語笑話賞析
一塊還是兩塊?
Customer: Waiter, I've only got one piece of meat in my dish.
Waiter:Just a moment, sir and I'll cut it in two.
顧客：服務(wù)員，我盤子里怎么只有一塊肉?
服務(wù)員：先生，請稍候，我去把它切成兩塊。
簡單易懂的英語笑話欣賞
打獵秘籍
Two Russian hunters meet. "I shot a gigantic bear yesterday," says Ivan. "Look at the hide!"
"How do you find such huge bears?" Sergei asks.
"Easy," says Ivan. "You stand in front of a cave and whistle. When the bear comes out,you shoot."
Weeks later the two meet again. Sergei is covered in bandages. "Didn't you follow myadvice?" Ivan asks.
"Sure I did. I stood, in front of a cave and whistled, " Sergei replies.
"And what came out?"
"To me, "says Sergei, "it looked like the Trans-Siberian Express."
兩個俄國獵人相遇。“我昨天打了一只巨熊，”伊凡說，“看看這獸皮!”
“你是如何發(fā)現(xiàn)這么大的熊的?”謝爾蓋問道。
“很簡單，”伊凡說，“你站在一個洞前并吹哨子。熊出來時你就開槍。”
幾周后，兩人見面了。謝爾蓋渾身纏滿了繃帶。“難道你沒有聽我的建議?”伊凡問。
“我當(dāng)然是按你的建議做的。我站在一個洞前并吹哨子，”謝爾蓋回答說。
“出來了什么?”
“向著我來的，”謝爾蓋說，“像是穿越西伯利亞的快車。”
簡單易懂的英語笑話品味
一封特別的感謝信
nce I received a thank-you note from a friend whom I had helped. In the envelope were fivelottery tickets that had been scratched, revealing the numbers. "Thank you very much foryour help," the note read. "As a gift, I bought you some lottery tickets- sorry you didn't win. "
有一次，我收到一封感謝信，是一個我曾幫助過的朋友寄來的。信封內(nèi)有五張彩票，都被刮過了，露出了數(shù)字。“非常感謝您的幫助，”信上寫道，“作為禮物，我給您買了些彩票——真遺憾，您沒中獎。”
簡單易懂的英語笑話閱讀
委婉的報喪方式
Two brothers, Herbert and James, lived with their mother and a cat named Edgar. James wasparticularly attached to the cat, and when he had to leave town for several days, he left Herbertmeticulous instructions about the pet' s care. At the end of this first day away. Jamestelephoned his brother. "How is Edgar?"
"Edgar is dead." Herbert answered. There was a pause. Then James said, "Herbert, you'reinsensitive, you know how close I was to Edgar —you should have broken the news to meslowly. When I asked about Edgar tonight, you should have said, 'Edgar's on the roof , but Ihave called the fire department to get him down.' And tomorrow when I called, you could havesaid the firemen were having trouble getting Edgar down, but you were hopeful they wouldsucceed. Then when I called the third time, you could have told me that the fire-men have donetheir best, but unfortunately Edgar had fallen off the roof and was at the veterinarian's. Thenwhen I called the last time, you could have said that although everything possible had beendone for Edgar, he had died. That's the way a sensitive man would have told me about Edgar.And, oh, before I forget," James added, "how is mother?"
"Oh," Herbert said, pausing for a moment, "She' s on the roof."
郝伯特和詹姆斯兄弟二人一起生活，家中有一老母并養(yǎng)了一只貓叫埃德格。詹姆斯特別喜歡這只貓。有一次他要外出幾天，臨行前不厭其煩地囑咐郝伯特照顧好這只寵物。出門后的頭一天晚上，他打來電話詢問：“埃德格好嗎?”
“它死了，”郝伯格回答。一陣沉默之后，詹姆斯說：“郝伯特，你真沒心沒肺，你知道我多么喜歡埃德格——你應(yīng)該把這個消息慢慢地告訴我。當(dāng)我問起埃德格今晚怎樣時，你應(yīng)該說，‘埃德格爬上了屋頂，我已給消防隊(duì)打了電話，讓他們把它救下來。’我明天又給你打電話時，你應(yīng)該說消防隊(duì)營救埃德格遇到了困難，但你相信他們會成功。在我第三天給你打電話時，你可以說消防隊(duì)員已盡了最大努力，但很不幸，埃德格從屋頂上掉了下來，被送到獸醫(yī)那里。在我最后一次給你打電話詢問，你可以說盡管對埃德格做了一切所能做的努力，它還是死了。這是一個富有感情的人告訴我埃德格的消息時所用的方式。哦，趁我沒忘記還有件事順便問一下，”詹姆斯補(bǔ)充道，“母親好嗎?”
“哦……”一陣沉默后郝伯特答道，“她上了屋頂。”