雙語閱讀:10個(gè)小習(xí)慣升級甜蜜戀人
雙語閱讀:10個(gè)小習(xí)慣升級甜蜜戀人
摘要:貌似只要遇到對的人,戀愛自然而然就會幸福。但其實(shí)事情并不是這樣的。戀愛需要經(jīng)營。幸福戀人也得每天用愛心和關(guān)心去維系彼此的關(guān)系。
It seems like a happy relationship should come naturally when you’re with the right person, but that’s not true. Relationships require work. Happy couples have to maintain their relationships every day with love and care, but it’s not as daunting of a task as it may seem. There’s no real “secret” to having a happy relationship, but there are things you can do to make it all come more easily. Try to integrate these habits into your daily life and see how much happier your relationship can be.
1. Go to bed at the same time.
貌似只要遇到對的人,戀愛自然而然就會幸福。但其實(shí)事情并不是這樣的。戀愛需要經(jīng)營。幸福戀人也得每天用愛心和關(guān)心去維系彼此的關(guān)系。不過,維持愛情也沒有看上去的那么困難。其實(shí),擁有甜蜜戀愛并沒有什么“秘密”可言,不過你確實(shí)可以采取行動(dòng)讓一切變得更順利。嘗試在日常生活中養(yǎng)成以下習(xí)慣,看看你的戀愛會變得有多甜蜜吧!
1. 同一時(shí)間上床睡覺。
I used to think it was silly to want to go to bed at the same time as my partner, but it does wonders for your relationship! If one of us stays up later than the other, our whole evening feels off. There’s something cozy about sliding under the covers together, talking about what happened during the day or what’s on the list for tomorrow. My fiancé works the night shift, and without realizing it, my schedule also changed until I was a night owl, doing my freelance work during the late hours while he was at his job. When he came home early in the morning, I’d go to bed with him just to get that connection you can only get from sleeping and waking up together.
我以前覺得跟愛人同時(shí)間上床睡覺完全扯淡,但其實(shí)這真的有助于彼此關(guān)系哦!要是有一個(gè)人熬夜,那兩個(gè)人的晚上就毀了。兩個(gè)人蓋上被子一起躺著聊聊白天發(fā)生的事情或第二天有什么計(jì)劃,真是莫大的愜意啊。我的未婚夫要倒晚班,然后不知不覺中,我竟也跟著變成夜貓子,在他上班的時(shí)間熬夜趕兼職工作了。當(dāng)他早上下班回來,我才會跟他一起上床睡覺,這樣就可以親親密密地同睡同醒啦。
10個(gè)小習(xí)慣 升級甜蜜戀人
2. Cultivate common interests.
2. 培養(yǎng)共同的興趣愛好。
It’s important to keep your own hobbies when you’re part of a couple, of course, because you want to stay true to yourself and not change your personality. But you and your partner can cultivate common interests without changing who either of you are, and it will make your relationship stronger as a result. I love reading and writing, which are typically solitary hobbies, but my fiancé doesn’t hesitate to grab a book and sit next to me on the couch, or he’ll write a story too, and we can give each other feedback. He loves painting, and I can hardly draw a stick figure, but when he asks me to help him with a painting, I love to try and do my best with bright streaks of color. As a result, we’ve both found that it doesn’t matter what you do together (or in the case of my painting attempts, how well you do it), just that you’re doing enjoyable things together.
當(dāng)然,即便談戀愛也不能放棄自己的愛好,畢竟你還想做你自己,不愿改變自己的性格。但是,在不改變彼此的同時(shí),你照樣可以和戀人培養(yǎng)共同愛好,這樣可以讓感情更親密哦。我喜歡閱讀和寫文字(典型的內(nèi)向型興趣),而我的未婚夫也很喜歡擠在沙發(fā)上跟我一起看書,或者自己寫故事,然后跟我討論。他喜歡畫畫,而我在這方面完全是個(gè)白癡。但是,當(dāng)他畫畫需要我?guī)兔r(shí),我也很樂意盡力畫上幾筆。結(jié)果我們發(fā)現(xiàn),做了什么事情并不重要(比如我畫得到底好不好),重要的是——兩個(gè)人在一起很開心地去做這件事。
3. Walk hand in hand.
3. 手牽手一起散步。
My hatred of hand-holding started in elementary school, when you had to hold hands with a buddy so you wouldn’t get lost on a field trip. Since then, I’ve never held hands with anyone and not gotten immediately sweaty palms. It’s one of the worst feelings! With my partner, though, I love holding hands. It makes me feel so happy and connected to him just to hold hands as we walk through the neighborhood, or even around the grocery store. Even if we don’t hold hands, we keep pace and walk side by side. I find that more often than not, my hand either finds his, or I slide my arm around his waist. There’s something really nice about walking perfectly in step with your partner.
我從小學(xué)時(shí)就很討厭牽手,那時(shí)為了在郊游時(shí)不走丟,我必須和某男生拉著手。從那時(shí)起我就再也沒有和誰牽過手,當(dāng)然也沒有遇到過手心汗?jié)竦那闆r。手心汗?jié)裨撚卸鄬擂伟?可是,當(dāng)和戀人在一起時(shí),我很喜歡牽著手。哪怕只是在小區(qū)里面散步或去雜貨店,跟他牽著手都讓我覺得特別快樂踏實(shí)。就算不牽手,我們也會肩并肩保持步調(diào)一致。我還發(fā)現(xiàn)自己會不自覺地去拉他的手,或者胳膊伸過去抱他的腰。和戀人肩并肩一起散步真的非常美好!
4. Make trust and forgiveness your default mode.
4. 彼此信任,給予原諒。
It’s so easy to fight about stupid nothings and hold a grudge, but that’s not the way to be happy in a relationship. You have to forgive your partner after a fight, even if it’s something major. You might feel like they’ve betrayed your trust, but if you don’t give them another chance, then your relationship can never feel natural again. There will always be a rift because you don’t trust your partner, and feel like any time your back is turned, they’ll be doing something hurtful. On the other side, your partner won’t feel loved in the relationship because they’ll have never gotten your full forgiveness. Let your heart love easier by truly forgiving and honestly trusting your partner.
兩個(gè)人難免會為一些無所謂的事情爭吵甚至耿耿于懷,但這樣對感情關(guān)系毫無益處。哪怕事關(guān)重大,吵完之后你也得原諒對方。你可能會覺得對方辜負(fù)了你的信任,但如果不給他一次機(jī)會,接下來的關(guān)系肯定會尷尬別扭。這將成為一個(gè)豁口,因?yàn)槟悴辉傩湃螌Ψ?,覺得任何時(shí)候只要你一轉(zhuǎn)身,他就會做出傷害你的事來。而且相應(yīng)地,對方也覺得這段關(guān)系再也沒有愛情可言,因?yàn)樗麖膩頉]覺得被原諒過。請放寬心去愛吧,請真心原諒對方、真誠信任對方吧。
5. Focus on what your partner does right, not wrong.
5. 多發(fā)現(xiàn)戀人做得對的地方,而不是揪著錯(cuò)誤不放。
No one likes a nit-pick! Don’t chastise your partner every time you think they do something wrong. There are nice ways to inform someone if they hurt your feelings, or to correct them if they do something in a bad way. But instead of yelling at your partner for breaking a plate, thank them for washing the dishes for you—hey, soap makes things slippery! Your partner will appreciate that you’re seeing the positive things they’re bringing to the relationship, and being more positive and complimentary will make you feel better than being negative all the time.
沒人喜歡找茬挑刺兒!不要每次覺得戀人做錯(cuò)了就責(zé)怪不已。如果戀人傷害了你的感情,可以委婉地說出來;如果戀人做錯(cuò)事,可以指正出來。但是,千萬不要因?yàn)閼偃舜蛩榱艘粋€(gè)盤子而朝他大吼大叫,相反,你應(yīng)該感謝他幫你洗碗——哎呀,肥皂水容易讓手打滑嘛!這樣說,他會心存感激的。你能看到彼此關(guān)系的積極面,這種積極和贊揚(yáng)也能趕走消極情緒,讓你一直開心快樂。