TED英語(yǔ)演講：情商高的人怎樣說(shuō)話
說(shuō)話是人類最常運(yùn)用的溝通方式，我們每天要說(shuō)不少話，也得接收很多話，有些話被聽(tīng)進(jìn)去了，但有些話卻被當(dāng)成耳邊風(fēng)。你是否曾懷疑：「為什么別人都不聽(tīng)我說(shuō)話?」許多人總以為，話說(shuō)了卻沒(méi)達(dá)到溝通的效果，八成是聽(tīng)話的人沒(méi)專心，但其實(shí)問(wèn)題也可能出在說(shuō)話的人身上。你知道到底要怎么說(shuō)，別人才會(huì)聽(tīng)?下面是小編為大家收集關(guān)于TED英語(yǔ)演講之情商高的人怎樣說(shuō)話，歡迎借鑒參考。
演講者：Julian Treasure 朱利安·特瑞雪
| 中英文演講稿 |
We are losing our listening. We spend roughly 60 percent of our communication time listening, But we're not very good at it. We retain just 25 percent of what we hear. Now not you, not this talk, but that is generally true. Let's define listening as making meaning from sound. It's a mental process, and it's a process of extraction.
我們正在喪失傾聽(tīng)的能力。我們交流過(guò)程中60%的時(shí)間都是用來(lái)傾聽(tīng)，但其實(shí)我們并不擅長(zhǎng)傾聽(tīng)。我們只保留了25%所聽(tīng)到的內(nèi)容，不是指在座各位和這個(gè)演講，這是一個(gè)普遍的事實(shí)。讓我們來(lái)定義傾聽(tīng)，就是使得聲音有意義，這是一個(gè)心理過(guò)程，它也是一個(gè)提取的過(guò)程。
The human voice: It's the instrument we all play. It's the most powerful sound in the world, probably. It's the only one that can start a war or say "I love you." And yet many people have the experience that when they speak, people don't listen to them. And why is that? How can we speak powerfully to make change in the world?
人類的聲音：是我們所有人都彈奏的樂(lè)器，可能是這個(gè)世界上最有力的聲音，它絕無(wú)僅有，或能引起戰(zhàn)爭(zhēng)，或能說(shuō)“我愛(ài)你”。然而，很多人有這種經(jīng)歷，當(dāng)他們說(shuō)的時(shí)候，人們并不在聽(tīng)。這是為什么呢?我們?cè)鯓佑辛Φ卣f(shuō)而讓世界發(fā)生某種改變?
What I'd like to suggest, there are a number of habits that we need to move away from. I've assembled for your pleasure here seven deadly sins of speaking. I'm not pretending this is an exhaustive list, but these seven, I think, are pretty large habits that we can all fall into.
我所提議的是，我們需要改變一些習(xí)慣。在此我為你們收集整理了，說(shuō)話的七宗罪。我沒(méi)打算假裝這是一個(gè)詳細(xì)的列表，但這七個(gè)，我以為是 我們相當(dāng)容易犯的壞習(xí)慣。
First, gossip. Speaking ill of somebody who's not present. Not a nice habit, and we know perfectly well the person gossiping, five minutes later, will be gossiping about us.
第一就是，流言蜚語(yǔ)，在背后說(shuō)某些人的壞話。這不是一個(gè)好習(xí)慣，我們都很明白那個(gè)說(shuō)閑話的人在五分鐘以后，就會(huì)在別人跟前說(shuō)我們的閑話。
Second, judging. We know people who are like this in conversation, and it's very hard to listen to somebody if you know that you're being judged and found wanting at the same time.
第二，評(píng)判。我們知道有些人在談話中是這樣的，這讓人很難聽(tīng)進(jìn)別人的話，如果你知道你被人評(píng)判且被認(rèn)為不合格。
Third, negativity. You can fall into this. My mother, in the last years of her life, became very negative, and it's hard to listen. I remember one day, I said to her, "It's October 1 today," and she said, "I know, isn't it dreadful?" It's hard to listen when somebody's that negative.
第三，消極。你能陷入這個(gè)泥潭。我的母親，在她生命的最后幾年里，變得非常非常消極，很難讓人聽(tīng)她說(shuō)話。我記得有一天，我對(duì)她說(shuō)， “今天是十月一號(hào)，” 她說(shuō)，“我知道，這不可怕嗎?” 當(dāng)某人那么消極的時(shí)候是很難讓人聽(tīng)進(jìn)去的。
And another form of negativity, complaining. Well, this is the national art of the U.K. It's our national sport. We complain about the weather, sport, about politics, about everything, but actually, complaining is viral misery. It's not spreading sunshine and lightness in the world.
另外一種消極，就是抱怨。這是英國(guó)的全國(guó)性藝術(shù)，是我們的全國(guó)性運(yùn)動(dòng)。我們抱怨天氣、體育和政治，幾乎每件事，但實(shí)際上抱怨是病毒性的悲催，它不會(huì)在這個(gè)世界上傳播太陽(yáng)和光明。
Excuses.
借口。
We've all met this guy. Maybe we've all been this guy. Some people have a blamethrower. They just pass it on to everybody else and don't take responsibility for their actions, and again, hard to listen to somebody who is being like that.
我們都遇上過(guò)這個(gè)家伙，也許我們都曾經(jīng)是這個(gè)家伙。有些人有指責(zé)癖好，他們怪罪任何人而不是對(duì)自己的行為負(fù)責(zé)任，所以，這又是讓人難以聆聽(tīng)的一種。
Penultimate, the sixth of the seven, embroidery, exaggeration. It demeans our language, actually, sometimes. For example, if I see something that really is awesome, what do I call it? And then, of course, this exaggeration becomes lying, and we don't want to listen to people we know are lying to us.
七件里面的老六，倒數(shù)第二，浮夸，吹牛。它有時(shí)貶低了我們的語(yǔ)言，事實(shí)上。比如，如果我看什么真的很神奇的事情，那我該說(shuō)什么呢?當(dāng)然這種夸大后來(lái)就變成了說(shuō)謊，徹頭徹尾的說(shuō)謊，我們就不想聽(tīng)，這種我們知道會(huì)說(shuō)謊的人。
And finally, dogmatism. The confusion of facts with opinions. When those two things get conflated, you're listening into the wind. You know, somebody is bombarding you with their opinions as if they were true. It's difficult to listen to that.
最后是，固執(zhí)己見(jiàn)，把事實(shí)和意見(jiàn)混淆。當(dāng)這兩件事混為一談，你就像在聽(tīng)風(fēng)一樣。你知道，有人用他們自己的意見(jiàn)來(lái)強(qiáng)迫你，這很難讓我們聽(tīng)講。
So here they are, seven deadly sins of speaking. These are things I think we need to avoid. But is there a positive way to think about this? Yes, there is. I'd like to suggest that there are four really powerful cornerstones, foundations, that we can stand on if we want our speech to be powerful and to make change in the world.
這就是說(shuō)話的七宗罪，我認(rèn)為這些是我們需要避免的，但有沒(méi)有比較正面的呢?的確有。我想建議四種我們可以牢靠站立的、真正強(qiáng)有力的基石或者基礎(chǔ)，如果我們想讓我們的言語(yǔ)有力并且讓世界產(chǎn)生變化。
Fortunately, these things spell a word. The word is "hail," and it has a great definition as well. I'm not talking about the stuff that falls from the sky and hits you on the head. I'm talking about this definition, to greet or acclaim enthusiastically, which is how I think our words will be received if we stand on these four things.
幸運(yùn)的是，這些事情連起來(lái)是一個(gè)單詞。這個(gè)詞就是“hail”，它有著特別好的定義。我不是講那個(gè)天上掉下來(lái)的砸在你頭上的東西。我在談?wù)摰氖?“熱情地致敬或贊揚(yáng)”這個(gè)定義。我認(rèn)為我們的言辭會(huì)如此被接受，如果我們堅(jiān)持這四件事。
So what do they stand for? See if you can guess. The H, honesty, of course, being true in what you say, being straight and clear. The A is authenticity, just being yourself. A friend of mine described it as standing in your own truth, which I think is a lovely way to put it.
那么它們到底是什么呢?看看你是否能猜到。H，代表了誠(chéng)實(shí)(Honesty)，當(dāng)然，說(shuō)真話，直接了當(dāng)并且清楚明白。A，代表了真實(shí)(Authenticity)，做一個(gè)自然而然的自己。我的一個(gè)朋友把它描述為堅(jiān)持真實(shí)的自己，我覺(jué)得這是一個(gè)優(yōu)美的表述。
The I is integrity, being your word, actually doing what you say, and being somebody people can trust. And the L is love. I don't mean romantic love, but I do mean wishing people well, for two reasons. First of all, I think absolute honesty may not be what we want. I mean, my goodness, you look ugly this morning. Perhaps that's not necessary. Tempered with love, of course, honesty is a great thing.
I，代表了正氣(Integrity)，言而有信， 說(shuō)到做到， 成為別人能信任的人。L，代表愛(ài)(Love)。我不是指羅曼蒂克的愛(ài)情，而是指對(duì)別人有良好的祝愿，這出于兩個(gè)原因。第一，我認(rèn)為絕對(duì)的誠(chéng)實(shí)也許不是我們所想要的。我的意思是，天哪，今天早上你真難看，那可能不必要。誠(chéng)實(shí)是很重要的，當(dāng)然，適當(dāng)?shù)貛е鴲?ài)。
But also, if you're really wishing somebody well, it's very hard to judge them at the same time. I'm not even sure you can do those two things simultaneously. So hail.
但還有，當(dāng)你真的很希望別人好，就很難同時(shí)評(píng)判他們。我不知道你們是否能 同時(shí)做到這兩點(diǎn)。 那么hail。
Also, now that's what you say, and it's like the old song, it is what you say, it's also the way that you say it. You have an amazing toolbox. This instrument is incredible, and yet this is a toolbox that very few people have ever opened. I'd like to have a little rummage in there with you now and just pull a few tools out that you might like to take away and play with, which will increase the power of your speaking.
上面提到的是你所說(shuō)的內(nèi)容。另外，就像老歌里唱的，你所說(shuō)的很重要，還有你的表達(dá)方式也很重要。你有一個(gè)很神奇的工具盒，里面有難以置信的工具，然而這個(gè)工具盒只有不多的人打開(kāi)過(guò)。我愿意跟你們?cè)谶@里做一點(diǎn)兒探查，并且找出幾種工具。你也許想拿來(lái)試一下，這些將會(huì)增加你說(shuō)話的力量。
Register, for example. Now, falsetto register may not be very useful most of the time, but there's a register in between. I'm not going to get very technical about this for any of you who are voice coaches. You can locate your voice, however. So if I talk up here in my nose, you can hear the difference.
比如說(shuō)，音域。假聲大部分時(shí)候可能是沒(méi)用的，但在兩者之間會(huì)有一種是有用的。對(duì)于在座的語(yǔ)音教練們，我不會(huì)在這個(gè)問(wèn)題上很深入。然而，你能定位你的聲音。如果我把聲音提到鼻子這兒，你可以聽(tīng)出不同。
If I go down here in my throat, which is where most of us speak from most of the time. But if you want weight, you need to go down here to the chest. You hear the difference? We vote for politicians with lower voices, it's true, because we associate depth with power and with authority. That's register.
如果我把聲音降到嗓子這里， 這是我們大部分人大多數(shù)時(shí)候所做的。但是如果你想有份量， 你需要降到胸腔。 你聽(tīng)出了不同嗎? 我們給聲音低沉的政治家投票，那是真的， 因?yàn)槲覀儼焉畛?和權(quán)力、權(quán)威聯(lián)系在一起。 那是音域。
Then we have timbre. It's the way your voice feels. Again, the research shows that we prefer voices which are rich, smooth, warm, like hot chocolate. Well if that's not you, that's not the end of the world, because you can train. Go and get a voice coach. And there are amazing things you can do with breathing, with posture, and with exercises to improve the timbre of your voice.
然后我們?cè)僬f(shuō)音色，那是你的聲音讓人感覺(jué)如何。研究顯示我們喜歡那種豐厚、平滑、溫暖，像熱巧克力一樣的聲音。當(dāng)然如果你沒(méi)有那樣的聲音，這也不是世界末日。因?yàn)槟憧梢杂?xùn)練，去找到一個(gè)聲音教練。你可以做很神奇的事情，利用呼吸、姿勢(shì)，還有鍛煉來(lái)提高你嗓音的音色。
Then prosody. I love prosody. This is the sing-song, the meta-language that we use in order to impart meaning. It's root one for meaning in conversation. People who speak all on one note are really quite hard to listen to if they don't have any prosody at all. That's where the word "monotonic" comes from, or monotonous, monotone.
然后是韻律，我喜歡韻律。那是唱歌，是元語(yǔ)言，我們用來(lái)傳送意味。在談話中是意思的根基。那種說(shuō)話一個(gè)聲調(diào)的人很難讓人聽(tīng)講， 如果他們沒(méi)有一點(diǎn)兒韻律。那就是單調(diào)這個(gè)詞的來(lái)源，或者說(shuō)枯燥無(wú)味，一成不變。
Also, we have repetitive prosody now coming in, where every sentence ends as if it were a question when it's actually not a question, it's a statement? (Laughter) And if you repeat that one, it's actually restricting your ability to communicate through prosody, which I think is a shame, so let's try and break that habit.
我們還有重復(fù)性的韻律， 每個(gè)句子的結(jié)尾好像是一個(gè)疑問(wèn)句， 但事實(shí)上，它不是疑問(wèn)句，而是陳述句。 (笑聲) 如果你一遍一遍地重復(fù)某個(gè)東西， 它會(huì)限制你 用韻律來(lái)交流的能力， 我認(rèn)為這是一件憾事， 讓我們努力打破那個(gè)習(xí)慣。
Pace.
語(yǔ)速
I can get very excited by saying something really quickly, or I can slow right down to emphasize, and at the end of that, of course, is our old friend silence. There's nothing wrong with a bit of silence in a talk, is there? We don't have to fill it with ums and ahs. It can be very powerful.
我可以非常非常興奮地飛快地說(shuō)著什么，或者我能慢下來(lái)強(qiáng)調(diào)，在結(jié)尾處，當(dāng)然是我們的老朋友，沉默。在講話中，有一點(diǎn)兒沉默，沒(méi)關(guān)系，是嗎?我們不需要用“嗯” 和“ 啊”來(lái)填充。沉默就很有力。
Of course, pitch often goes along with pace to indicate arousal, but you can do it just with pitch. Where did you leave my keys? (Higher pitch) Where did you leave my keys? So, slightly different meaning in those two deliveries.
當(dāng)然，音調(diào)常常跟語(yǔ)速一起來(lái)指示興奮度，但你能僅僅用音調(diào)就顯示出來(lái)。你把我的鑰匙放在哪兒啦?你把我的鑰匙放在哪兒啦?那么輕微的差別在這兩個(gè)表達(dá)中。
And finally, volume. (Loud) I can get really excited by using volume. Sorry about that, if I startled anybody. Or, I can have you really pay attention by getting very quiet. Some people broadcast the whole time. Try not to do that. That's called sodcasting, Imposing your sound on people around you carelessly and inconsiderately. Not nice.
最后，是音量。我能用音量表示極端的興奮。如果我打擾了任何人的話，抱歉?；蛘?，我能用很輕的聲音讓你認(rèn)真地注意。有人全程一直都在說(shuō)話，別那樣，那叫做“公放音樂(lè)”， 把你的聲音不假思索 和草率地強(qiáng)加給別人，不好。
Of course, where this all comes into play most of all is when you've got something really important to do. It might be standing on a stage like this and giving a talk to people. It might be proposing marriage, asking for a raise, a wedding speech. Whatever it is, if it's really important, you owe it to yourself to look at this toolbox and the engine that it's going to work on, and no engine works well without being warmed up. Warm up your voice.
當(dāng)然，這些工具真正發(fā)揮作用的地方，是當(dāng)你有什么很重要的事情要做的時(shí)候。這可能是像這樣站在演講臺(tái)上對(duì)著人演講。它可能是求婚，要求加薪，或者婚禮上的講話。不管是什么，如果它非常重要，你應(yīng)該看著這個(gè)工具盒，以及將要工作運(yùn)行的發(fā)動(dòng)機(jī)，沒(méi)有預(yù)熱的發(fā)動(dòng)機(jī)不會(huì)好好工作。預(yù)熱你自己的聲音。
Actually, let me show you how to do that. Would you all like to stand up for a moment? I'm going to show you the six vocal warm-up exercises that I do before every talk I ever do. Any time you're going to talk to anybody important, do these. First, arms up, deep breath in, and sigh out, ahhhhh, like that.
讓我給你演示怎樣做，你們都愿意站起來(lái)一會(huì)兒?jiǎn)?我會(huì)給你演示六個(gè)預(yù)熱聲音的鍛煉，在每次演講之前我都這么做。在跟任何重要的人談話之前，做以下這些。第一，舉起雙臂，吸氣， 然后呼出，啊哈，就像那樣。
One more time. Ahhhh, very good. Now we're going to warm up our lips, and we're going to go Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba, Ba. Very good. And now, brrrrrrrrrr, just like when you were a kid. Brrrr. Now your lips should be coming alive. We're going to do the tongue next with exaggerated la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. Beautiful. You're getting really good at this. And then, roll an R. Rrrrrrr. That's like champagne for the tongue.
再來(lái)一次。 啊哈，很好。 現(xiàn)在我們要預(yù)熱我們的嘴唇， 做出吧，吧，吧，吧， 吧，吧，吧，吧。很好。現(xiàn)在，brrrrrrr，就像你是個(gè)孩子，brrrrr，現(xiàn)在你的嘴唇應(yīng)該活了。下一個(gè)是舌頭， 夸張的啦，啦，啦，啦…… 美極了。你們做得很好。
Finally, and if I can only do one, the pros call this the siren. It's really good. It starts with "we" and goes to "aw." The "we" is high, the "aw" is low. So you go, weeeaawww, weeeaawww.
然后，卷舌一個(gè)R，Rrrrrr。 這就像給舌頭的香檳酒。 最后，如果我只能做一個(gè)， 專業(yè)人士把這叫做警報(bào)。 這個(gè)特別好。它開(kāi)始于“we”然后轉(zhuǎn)為“aw”。 “we”是高音，“aw”是低音。 那么就是，“weeeaawww……”
Fantastic. Give yourselves a round of applause. Take a seat, thank you.
妙極了，給你自己來(lái)鼓個(gè)掌。請(qǐng)坐，謝謝你們。
Next time you speak, do those in advance.
下次你演講之前，提前做到這幾項(xiàng)。
Now let me just put this in context to close. This is a serious point here. This is where we are now, right? We speak not very well to people who simply aren't listening in an environment that's all about noise and bad acoustics. I have talked about that on this stage in different phases. What would the world be like if we were speaking powerfully to people who were listening consciously in environments which were actually fit for purpose?
現(xiàn)在讓我在結(jié)束之前作個(gè)總結(jié)，這一點(diǎn)是認(rèn)真的。這就是我們的所在，對(duì)嗎?我們說(shuō)得不好，人們也聽(tīng)不進(jìn)去，在一個(gè)吵鬧和喧嘩的環(huán)境里。我已經(jīng)在講臺(tái)上分階段地談到這個(gè)問(wèn)題。這個(gè)世界會(huì)是怎樣，如果我們有說(shuō)服力，人們有意識(shí)地聽(tīng)，在一個(gè)量身定做的環(huán)境下?
Or to make that a bit larger, what would the world be like if we were creating sound consciously and consuming sound consciously and designing all our environments consciously for sound? That would be a world that does sound beautiful, and one where understanding would be the norm, and that is an idea worth spreading.
或者說(shuō)得更大一些，世界將會(huì)是怎樣，如果我們有意識(shí)地說(shuō)話，有意識(shí)地傾聽(tīng)，并且有意識(shí)地針對(duì)聲音來(lái)設(shè)計(jì)我們的周圍環(huán)境?那會(huì)是一個(gè)聽(tīng)起來(lái)非常美麗的世界，在那兒理解會(huì)是常態(tài)，那是一個(gè)值得傳播的理念。
Thank you.
感謝你們。
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