英語中如何改出一篇英語作文

　　編者按：修改工作是英語寫作過程中非常重要的一個環(huán)節(jié)，在反復(fù)修改作文的過程中，每個人都能獲得如何正確運(yùn)用語法、詞匯、句型、邏輯的基礎(chǔ)知識。我們都應(yīng)該掌握修改英語作文這門技術(shù)。

　　總體而言，考慮下面幾個要點(diǎn)，修改英語作文：

　　(1) 語法：對照作者的寫作情境，參考英語語法知識，檢查是否存在語法運(yùn)用不恰當(dāng)或錯誤的地方;

　　(2) 詞匯：對照英語詞典，檢查是否存在用詞不切確或重復(fù)用詞現(xiàn)象;

　　(3)句型：檢查是否存在運(yùn)用句型不當(dāng)現(xiàn)象，或者新造沒有的句型。

　　(4)邏輯：仔細(xì)檢查觀點(diǎn)是否合適，各分論點(diǎn)是否有力地論證了所提的觀點(diǎn)，各段落在邏輯上是否符合事情發(fā)展的來龍去脈，邏輯上是否嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)。

　　這里將舉例論證上述幾個要點(diǎn)，以說明英語作文的修改過程，下面以一篇考博英語作文(200510B)為例展開分析：

　　英語寫作的題目為：

　　Is a job seeker’s previouswork experience important? If so, in what sense and to what extent? If not, whynot?

　　原英語作文為：

　　There is no denying that inthe job market those with rich previous work experience will often bepreferred. Some argue that this trend is not fairness or ration. Inmy opinion, however, previous work experience definitely counts for much for ajob seeker.

　　To begin with, an enterpriselikes have employees who can enter the working process immediately. Employees havingenough experience will help a company, especially a small or private company,to finish properly as soon as possible. Usually, private companies areunwilling to cost large amount of money in training new employees, which theybelieve will waste time and energy.

　　Furthermore, through severaltimes of job-hoppings, people can make up their minds firmly and clearly aboutwhere exactly their passions and interest lie, which is very important fortheir future success. In their previous work experience, employees have alreadylearned how to communicate and cooperate with their co-workers. Therefore, withadequate work experience, an employee can no doubt make himself familiar withhis new place so as to get a promotion easily in his or her new job.

　　Considering the aspects mentionedabove, I was a boss, I would choose a job seeker who has previous workexperience.

　　幾個方面的問題如下：

　　(1) 英語語法

　　1) Some argue that thistrend is not fairness or ration. is 后面跟形容詞，此處應(yīng)分別改為fair，rational。

　　2) To begin with, anenterprise likeshave employees who can enter the workingprocess immediately. 本句中出現(xiàn)了兩個動詞，一般來說兩個動詞之間，沒有連接詞，這樣寫的句子是有問題的。所以，應(yīng)將have employees改成 to have employees，動名詞形式作動詞likes的謂語。

　　(2) 詞匯

　　1) Employees having enough experience will help a company,especially a small or private company, to finish properly as soon as possible. 其中，詞匯having，如果改在with, 那么更合適些，Employees with enough experience will help a company…另外，詞匯finish是及物動詞，在這里后面不加賓語，顯得不太合適，將其改為operate/run等不及物動詞，比較合適些。

　　2) Usually, privatecompanies are unwilling to costlarge amount of money in training new employees. 其中，詞匯cost，表示私企不愿意花大筆錢在新員工培訓(xùn)上。實(shí)際上，我們用invest 這個詞匯可合適些，企業(yè)投錢在新員工培訓(xùn)上，有望提升員工的業(yè)務(wù)能力，最終提高企業(yè)的競爭力，賺取更多的利潤。

　　(3)句型

　　1) I was a boss, I would choose a job seeker who hasprevious work experience. 這個句型用得不對，I 怎么變成過去的老板了呢? 應(yīng)該改成If I were a boss, I would choose a jobseeker who has previous work experience. 虛擬語氣，表示假設(shè)。實(shí)際上，我并不是一個老板。

　　(4)邏輯

　　整篇文章，在邏輯上算是可以的。本題實(shí)際上是要求就某個問題表明自己的判斷，我們既可以同意以往的工作經(jīng)驗對找新工作的人至關(guān)重要，也可以反對這種觀點(diǎn)，接著就確定自己的立場進(jìn)行討論。

　　作者|丹丹英語

　　公眾號： 讀外刊學(xué)英語（ID：dwkxyy）

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